Decluttering as a Lifestyle, Not a To-Do List

When you stop growing the list and begin existing in a new way instead.

Sep 01, 2025

Anyone can empty a drawer. The question is, will it stay empty long enough to let you breathe?

Many people think they can/should declutter without support (and it’s true, if they don’t have a true clutter problem! Otherwise, it’s a lot easier with guidance, trust me.). Most of them are thinking of decluttering like it’s a magic pill, but it’s not.

Not at all.

The Myth of the “Once and Done” Declutter

So often, I hear people talk about decluttering as if it’s something they’ll only need to do once, and then all their problems will be solved, they’ll never be overwhelmed again, and they’ll never have clutter creep back in.

I used to think that way, too. Girl, was I ever wrong.

It took years for us to accumulate that much clutter. It grew in layers, and it needed to be undone in layers. Then, just as we cut our hair and nails when they grow, or buy more groceries after we eat them, we still need to re-declutter.

I know, it’s depressing. Almost as bad as the fact that you will always have to do dishes and laundry… forever. (I’m sorry, don’t blame me for telling you truths you don’t want to hear!)

The thing I’ve learned though is that once you admit to the truth of a situation, and accept it for what it is, it gets easier. I enjoy laundry now (gasp!)! And it used to be the bane of my existence. I used to get really upset with the fact that laundry was never ending, and I would basically have a temper tantrum and refuse to do it, which only resulted in me getting more behind and feeling more overwhelmed (if you’ve never done this, we might not be each other’s people!). Once I accepted it, I got more consistent at it. Once I was more consistent with it, I rarely got behind, and so it became less overwhelming.

And the real magic happened when I decluttered: One day, I caught up.

I had no more laundry to do (for about 3.6412 seconds, but it happened!). And then, it became so rewarding for me that I began to enjoy it. Every time it was complete, I felt… proud of myself. And that encouraged me to maintain it. And then it became a habit, and I never got behind again. Not even when I was depressed and barely functioning; I just kept going through those motions that were now so engrained in me.

In the same way, the first pass of decluttering felt like a never-ending chore, but I thought once it was done, I’d be done. I kept pressing through, and when I had gone through every area of my home once, I realized that everywhere else was re-cluttered, or even that suddenly, what had seemed to me to be decluttered before, no longer seemed to be anymore, even if it hadn’t been messed up again. What was happening?!

This is what we call a “clutter threshold”.

As you become accustomed to your home being less cluttered, you stop having the capacity for as much clutter as you used to be okay with. Now, your line in the sand has retreated. Now, you expect better - of yourself, and of your home.

Now, I expect laundry to be caught up at all times. Now, I expect my home to be 99% clutter-free. My definitions in both departments have evolved. Everyone has different expectations and visions of what ‘done’ looks like. Some people will find their groove at 75% and stay there. There is nothing wrong with that.

Whenever you find your groove, you’ve found your flow state. Any time you feel out of whack, overwhelmed, or confused, you’ll know what you need to do to get back to flow. You’ll know what you need to do to “catch up”, and it will be exciting instead of intimidating. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

For most people, clutter is the symptom of a deeper pattern - of consumption, busyness, or avoidance.

When we address these patterns, we cure the symptoms. Then, it’s just a matter of cleaning up the mess left behind, like putting cream on a rash that will never come back now that you’ve addressed the root cause.

Stop thinking of it like a quick fix, a one-and-done magic pill, and accept that decluttering will need to become your way of life. Just remember, it gets easier with every layer, and feels wonderful when you’re in maintenance mode. Don’t get intimidated - get hopeful!

Decluttering as a Way of Being

Instead of looking at decluttering like a chore that has to be done, think of it like the basic maintenance you need to do on any area of your life.

Showering, and basic self care, haircuts and nail trims. These are basic maintenance for your body.

Oil changes and filling up with gas, checking tire pressure and switching from winter to summer tires. Basic maintenance for your car.

Decluttering is the ongoing relationship you have with your space (physical clutter), your time (schedule/calendar clutter), and your energy (mental, spiritual, energetic clutter). It’s the basic maintenance of your life.

If you want to have true simplicity across the board in your life, you will need to have a lifestyle of decluttering. Weaving regular, gentle editing into the rhythm of your days instead of massive seasonal purges, it becomes a way of life, instead of a task that must be accomplished.

Again though, it’s not a magic pill. This shift will require you to unlearn old habits, let go of thoughts of “more is better” and release unfounded fears like “I might need it someday.” It will take work, and dedication. Just like anything worth having, a simple life and lifestyle takes practice, effort, intentionality, and patience.

The Inner Work

The problem most people don’t address before (or during) decluttering, is: “What caused the clutter in the first place?” And you may never quite pinpoint one thing - it’s often a combination of things anyway. But if you don’t deal with the roots, weeds always grow back.

For a lot of us, the root is mental, emotional, or spiritual clutter. Long before we started hoarding away stuff, we buried problems way deep inside us that we straight up just didn’t want to look at. This is also why so many people never break out of the clutter-declutter-re-clutter cycle. The inner work is scary, and hard… and absolutely tied to the items we’re keeping in our homes (and the things we say yes to doing that we don’t really want to do, either). Often, we must work through the inner stuff, as we declutter the outer stuff. This is what can make it so hard to let go of things - not admitting the deeper cause.

If you were traumatized by poverty in childhood - maybe not having enough to eat all the time - you might stockpile way too much food, struggle to toss the expired ‘goods’, and try to salvage every bite of leftovers to the point of half the fridge being filled with moldy containers. Training your brain to know you’re safe with less takes time, and repetition. Stretching your comfort zone is a gradual process.

Some patterns are harder to flesh out. You may have had a lot of problem relationships in your past, and struggle to let go of photos. It could be that you don’t want to forget the people you no longer have access to, or you may just not want to remember - and looking at them would remind you of painful times. Whatever the roots are, addressing them can be difficult, but in this case at least, dealing with it is usually a one-and-done - although slower and somewhat painful - scenario. Once you go through those photos, you never have to do that again.

Every time you declutter a layer, you’re building a practice of self-trust; knowing that you can handle the hard stuff, knowing that you will do what it takes, and that you can absolutely manage without all the crutches of avoidance.

Every time you declutter a layer, you come into closer alignment with your truest self, and fortify the boundaries you’ve previously allowed to be practically non-existent. You create the boundaries that weren’t there, you clarify them, and you strengthen them - until one day, they’re so strong that you can’t imagine life without them.

Clutter comes in many forms, too. In time, you’ll address not only the physical clutter in your spaces, but also the mental chatter, the crappy self-talk, the overbooked calendar, the physical aches and pains, the heartaches, and the dreams which have slipped through your grasp. You’ll feel the sorrow, accept new hope, and learn to love yourself and the world around you in a more solid, safe way.

Simple Practices to Integrate Decluttering into Everyday Life

Of course, none of this happens overnight. The tapestry of your life will take layers upon layers of brushstrokes and corrections - and likely years - to develop into the beautiful picture you dream of.

It’s worth the time and the effort.

Every layer of this process will look and feel different, but you’ll begin to notice patterns, cycles, and similarities, which will become building blocks to your new way of being.

At first, you might be taking a carload to the donation center every other day. You’ll probably be hauling so many bags of trash you’ll build actual physical muscle.

Then, you’ll be “re-setting.” You’ll be irritated that you didn’t think things were trash last time. You’ll be disgusted that you didn’t think that you’d be okay without some other things. You’ll be frustrated that you have to do this again.

Next, you’ll start accepting it. You’ll laugh at what you thought you should keep before, and toss it without a backward glance. You’ll take a third of the time to go through the same amount of stuff, because you’re making decisions like a champ - you’ve built your decluttering muscles up by a lot!

Finally, you won’t do “decluttering sessions” anymore; you’ll just see something, and declutter it. At any moment of any day, without a second thought. You’ll clean without deciding to do so. You’ll look around at any given moment and think “I love my home.” Yes, really. You’ll realize you now live by the new rhythm you were aiming for before. You’ll feel all glow-y inside.

The “One in, one out” rule - once you’ve decluttered a space, don’t put anything new in, unless you take another one out. You’ve already found the limit that feels good in that space - stick to it!
The “One Touch” rule - don’t put things down, put them away! A few extra steps now will save you from overwhelming piles of clutter later.
The 5-minute reset - Daily, everybody in the household spends 5 minutes (all together at once) tidying up. 5x(whatever number of people in your household)= a decent chunk of tidying time every day.
Keep a donate-able donate bin or bag nearby when you fold laundry. When you notice an item that you washed but already knew was too small for your kid, or you notice something is going through the laundry on repeat without being worn (because it keeps getting put on, immediately taken off, and dropped on the floor until further notice), you can drop it straight into the donate pile and never have to wash it again!
When you’re a little farther along - designate a “donations” spot. Keep an empty donate-able bag or box here at all times that all family members can put donations in. This helps consistently maintain the process instead of everything waiting to be decided upon in one donate session.

The Ripple Effect of Decluttering

A lifestyle of decluttering influences every aspect of your life - finances, relationships, creativity, and rest.

Whether you’re selling things or not as you declutter, letting go of things you no longer use truly does open you up to receive more abundance, including financial. As you build new and healthier habits, you spend less money, or choose options that fulfill you and uplift you so much better than the things you chose in the past so that you feel every dollar is going somewhere you approve of - not to mention know about.

You show up on time for things and remember important appointments and dates because you don’t have 20,000 things in the way to keep your brain distracted. People feel important to and valued by you because you’re not showing up late or forgetting entirely. You have more time on your calendar, white space where you can just be present with the people who matter to you. In those white spaces you take better care of yourself, and with your now overflowing cup, you’re able to pour into others. Your relationships improve on all fronts.

You actually use the hobby supplies you have left because you made room to work in, and cleared out all the deadweight of projects that would never get done. Creativity thrives in open space - whether physically (empty rooms just beg to be decorated, nature is the best inspiration of all for the creative mind) or mentally (when there’s room in your mind for thoughts to develop in silence because you aren’t constantly spiraling or repeating an endless to-do list).

You sleep better in your decluttered, clean, beautiful bedroom. You wind down better with better habits you’ve built because you had the time and mental capacity to do so, meaning you get better sleep quality. You lost some weight because your meal planning improved so much when you decluttered your food supplies and built better grocery shopping habits, and your body is getting more actual nutrition. You had time for exercise so that your body is ready for solid, deep, restful sleep.

You see? These are just a few ways that decluttering ripples out to affect every area of our lives positively. When you declutter, you give yourself the gift of spaciousness for what matters most - no matter what that is to you.

Remember… This is a lifelong practice, a lifestyle you are choosing, not a goal of perfection. Start with one thing, and really master it. Then add another.

Perhaps try the guidance of The Simplified Year Rhythm - with monthly focus posts, weekly direction, habits and routines and tips and tricks all built in - included in the paid subscription to The Simplified Year (just $8/month or $88/year).

This month, we are decluttering our digital world, releasing the time burden of searching through thousands of digital files, getting intentional about our storage subscriptions, clean up our photos, and more. As we free up time in this area, we make space for decluttering in other areas of our lives. Each monthly focus in The Simplified Year Rhythm supports the whole arc, and contributes to changing your entire life.

We’d love to support you there.

Bri

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